I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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