legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
This is my gift to your gina
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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