I think I just saw someone hide a body.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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