Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
