You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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