She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
