if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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