is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
