My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize