do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
