Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
