I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
