Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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