there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
