So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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