I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
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E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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