I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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