Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
