do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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