Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
