Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
what is it with giant penises always finding me
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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