How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
