So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I checked into jail on foursquare
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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