can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
this will be a night to untag.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
