Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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