I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
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I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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