So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
