I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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