I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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