So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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