i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
