It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize
