As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
PANTIES FOUND
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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