I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
