U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
