Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
