Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
