Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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