C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Of course I have a pirate flag
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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