she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
