Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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