I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Damn victory sex feels great
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
