I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
