All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
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