I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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