Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I supernannyed him into submission
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
