That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
