You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
