Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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