can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
