yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
