I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
