Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
