I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
