Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize