You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
