one two three fourrrrnication!
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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