that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
