Who did Billy Mays play for?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
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