Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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